just come out here and I will go home with you...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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