this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
