I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I showed him my bush... on skype.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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