carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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