I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
