Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
