Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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