seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
