Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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