we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
