i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
