remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
