I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
