I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I FOUND THE LEGS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
