is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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