Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
