Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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