Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We are two peas in an std pod
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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