I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
operation harelip BJ is a go
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She swung at the pinata with crutches
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i believe in u and ur pee
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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