Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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