After last night, I could never be a politician.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
