i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
