seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
