so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
