at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
