Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
