New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
