Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
