Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
