My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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