im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
