Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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