Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
