Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
