just tell him i said nine months
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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