I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
