Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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