Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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