I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
