he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
