Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I love you. Go after that dick
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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