I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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