so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
