whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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