Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
