shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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