another moral hangover. fuck.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize