He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
