I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What drink are we having for lunch?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
