We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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