i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
