Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
