I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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