Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
