I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
