then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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